Have you just recently left a long-time relationship? Or did you decide to discover the fullness of life in being single?
Whatever is the reason why you landed on this page, there must be a big purpose why you are single. Maybe for now. Either way, treat it is a gift. You know this is the best time for you to get to know more of yourself.
We get used to other people being around and have been all preoccupied of pleasing them. Apparently we forgot about ourselves. It is not selfish that sometimes we think of our own. I believe we have to take care of oneself so that we can give our best of our service to others, to our loved ones and to our God.
In my singleness, I have realized what God wants me to understand.
Whether it is your choice or not, God wants to tell you something in the midst of your current state.
1. God wants to direct you. He is directing you what he planned for you in the future. You will not know until you get there, when suddenly you realize why being single is your choice.
2. God wants to inspect you. Through your challenges, with this current state of life you are in, He wants to check if you can now focus on Him. Or you already have committed on something for yourself, and you have been distracted by this relationship.
3. God wants to protect you. You might have just ended relationship with anyone which is not in your favor. Maybe this relationship might put you on harm.
4. God wants to correct you in choosing your right partner. Admit it...we are just so in love on being in love. We shrugged off the red flags, thinking he might change later on.
5. God wants to make you better. Focusing on yourself and with God is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. Loving Him means you have to take care of yourself because you have to be at your best for your service to others.
God might have plan this in the beginning... maybe it will not take long for you. Don't think much of the time, but focus on what you can do now.
So embrace this time of singleness. Others may think that this is such a very depressing time for you. Whether it is true or not, you have to start to accept and overcome your loneliness.
So while you are single, take advantage of having all the time for yourself. Here are things you can do that don't need a companion, whether a friend or a partner. You'll see, maybe this will take you to a situation for you to start to mingle again and find "the one".
Date Yourself. When you say 'Date', this is literally the Date you used to do with your partner. Now, do it by yourself for self-discovery and practicing self-compassion. Treat yourself to a whole day pampering from head to toe. You can establish self-esteem or boost confidence later on. Enjoy a lavish dinner, a premium movie with popcorn for yourself. Celebrate your individuality and soon enough, you will realize that you are special and you deserve better.
Go for an adventure. Try a long bus ride or drive to a nearby town by yourself. Visit some touristy spots or famous top restaurants and dine there. But if you want to go further, explore other countries all by yourself. Check out a few tips when travelling solo.
Take time for self development. Now this is the moment to try to learn new things. You can explore a new hobby like painting, biking or trekking. Attend to trainings, or courses that can help you develop your skills for your career. Include here your mental and spiritual development for yourself, like going to retreats and church services. Start to write a journal or a planner.
Volunteer work on outreach or community missions. This can be part of your self development, as volunteering work is an enriching endeavor to cultivate your servitude and discover your values. What is really fulfilling is that you will not only be a blessing to others, but you will rather feel blessed by the people you encountered in this activity.
Spend more time with your loved ones. Have a regular time with your parents, siblings or your favorite person, and also extend to immediate family and relatives. This establishes your social support system and relationship goals. A constant visit or a phone call, if coming is not possible, should build a lasting relationship specially to your aging parents. Set a regular date with close friends. When spending more time, it means a quality time. It is not just being physically present but also your whole being. Be intentional and creative to have activities together that interests everyone.
I don't see any reason to wallow anymore and be desperately sad. There are many things to do for yourself, as well as things to explore in life. With prayers and self-determination, God will lead you to where you will be at your best.
